Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
