I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
