If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
