haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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