Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just had sex on a roof
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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