I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
