There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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