I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Moan for me like Helen Keller
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
