C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he told me I talked like a deaf person
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
