I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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