okay pat passed out under dana's car
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
