when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize