I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
