This is not my ceiling
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
