She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I AM VODKA MAN
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
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