If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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