she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
