my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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