I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
