I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
