Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
