She's JV to your varsity
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Randomize
