Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
