just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
