He had one of those small greek statue penises
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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