She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
