Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
