Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
