bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
