Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
