man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
