Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
