they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
