That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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