she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
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