Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
