it's too hot outside to masturbate.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
it was like eating out sand paper
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
