He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
