if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
