I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
