Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
