8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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