The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
