awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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