Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just pynch a tree in the face
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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