so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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