We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
