remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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