Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
