so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
