First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
